Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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