I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
