planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
