exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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