stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
