i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
dude. I can hear the air.
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