I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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