Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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