Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
