This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
operation have a gay friend backfired
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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