You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
