You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
