no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
