We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
God, I missed his penis.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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