He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
