people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
