I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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