They should really pass out barf bags in church
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
