I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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