Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
