My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
