so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize