I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
