why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
