Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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