remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
