my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
