Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
