see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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