My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
