I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize