I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
