dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
