I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
