you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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