I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
