my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
