Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
