Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
