Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so explain again why im purple
no
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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