drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
