going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
