I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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