I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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