i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i now understand why vodka
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
