why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
