There is no way he is gay with that hair.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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