Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
