Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you had me at cake vodka
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
