Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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