no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
